A Note from "Fruit Bat" the Webmaster

While it is typically the role of the webmaster to simply administer the technicalities of the wesite, these are new times and as such call for a new approach. You may rest assured, however, that content decisions are being made in your best interest as citizens of this great land and anything I may choose to omit is simply something with which you needn't trouble yourself.

Should you feel that perhaps there is bias in our reporting, you may rest assured that I was selected for this job after proving extensive experience in peeing on things that are not important. You may on occasion hear dissent from my human house mates who suggest that the living room floor, laundry basket or assorted articles of bedding are in fact of material importance, but that is simply because they lack my keen nose for the truth. Where they see a nice new carpet or fluffy pillow, I am able to smell out the insidious cover of non-like-thinking terrorists who would threaten our way of life.

I will admit to occasional lapses in judgment in my chewing behavior, but these are of a personal nature and in no way affect my professional decisions. Who among us has not, at an early age, taken a sock out of the laundry basket to chew it, or, for that matter, just chewed the sock that happens to be in closest proximity? While some in the media may seek to make a spectacle of such trivial details, I know you the readers will understand. It has been my experience that readers either share such indulgences and the desire to keep them confidential or are willing to overlook them so long as the perpetrators views are aligned with their own.